


Photographs

by nica00



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Chenji is beginning to happen but they’re just close and soft w eachother, Eventual Smut, Jian is a random name I picked for the ex boyfriend, M/M, Multiple Pov, Renjun doesn’t remember anything, So yeah Jian is a sack of shit, This fic was called lucky strike previously, also, dreamies au, eventual mark hyuck, i wasnt gonna name him but got tired of writing “the boy”, just between norenmin tho, kinda non con?, markhyuck are struggling to get together, mentions of non con, might make a fic parallel to this but w markhyuck, norenmin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-10-10 21:40:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20535020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nica00/pseuds/nica00
Summary: “Renjun had been in love before. Only once, but it was sour enough to last him a lifetime”





	1. Jasmine

**Author's Note:**

> Or the fic where Jeno and Jaemin help Renjun learn to trust. This fic has eventual Norenmin smut so just a heads up, don’t like don’t read. Sometimes there will be POV changes after the 3 dots, but I think its pretty easy to read despite this. I hope you enjoy it <3

Renjun had been in love before. Only once, but it was sour enough to last him a lifetime. He had been swept off his feet, made vulnerable and taken for a fool; He was only a side piece for his ex-lover. He was something on the down-low and meaningless. He found out a year and a half into the relationship. 

Thing is, he liked to think he was smart. But when he had to wander into them, breathless from making out in a town parking lot, he questioned just how smart he was. All the red flags he had ignored flooded his mind rapidly. Jian only coming over at night and some days a week. Rarely ever going over to _his place _because he claimed to still be living with his parents. The fact that Renjun never met said parents and was only introduced to certain friends, the vague work details, being late to dates. One time Renjun thought about it when he found his necklace in the bathroom sink with fiery ginger hair tangled in it. His hair was a sandy brown and Jian's was a dark brown color, almost black. But he quickly discarded the idea, thinking him incapable of that. He realized how wrong he was when he saw a carrot top boy be roughly kissed against an all too familiar white honda civic. He still remembers the sting he felt in his chest when he looked at the car's license plate and saw the numbers and letters he knew by heart. He didn't even realize that he was crying until the _couple_ heard them and turned around. Renjun could never forget the look of surprise Jian had on his face. 

“Are you okay?” The clueless boy said, talking to Renjun.

“Not really. My boyfriend is kissing you” Renjun said and watched as the realization hit the boy just like it had done to him, eyes widening as he did a double-take between them. He angrily shoved Renjun’s boyfriend away and began yelling a string of curses and profanities that left both Renjun and Jian speechless. 

“How could you do this to me? To him?” He yelled, pointing at Renjun furiously. He was grateful that at least this boy was aware of it all and wasn't shitting on him. 

“Hyuckie, baby, I’m sorry. It meant nothing, he meant-” he tried to explain but it was all in vain. 

“Shut the fuck up Jian, you better not finish that goddamn sentence. Did he mean nothing to you? You fucking used him and you used me as well. You're an asshole” the fiery boy said with his voice raw. When he walked over, Renjun could see the unshed tears that the boy had in his big doe brown eyes; Yet he wiped Renjun’s that kept coming almost involuntarily. 

“I am so sorry,” he said, crashing into him. Renjun felt paralyzed.

“You couldn’t have known” Renjun found himself saying. The boy only held him tighter, whispering 

“You're right” 

The boys watched as their ex-boyfriend got into his car, slammed his door shut, backed up and sped off into the city. They were left shocked in the dim-lit parking lot. Renjun sat down on the yellow parking block and the boy sat right beside him. He put his head on his shoulder and since that day, Renjun felt a lot less lonely. He lost his boyfriend but met one of his best friends. 

Honestly, the god that Renjun didn't believe in, the universe, destiny or whatever the fuck it was that ran the world traded a shit person in his life for Donghyuck, and that was something he would always be thankful for. In the empty lot, Donghuyck’s teary eyes were sincere and as they talked, Renjun felt safe. He remembered how years ago his mother told him about his dad. How even though he lied to her, he was a good father and that was all that mattered. That he didn't come to visit often because he worked hard. And how much he loved him. But the most important thing she ever told him was "_always be aware of people's eyes; those can’t fool you, son, they never lie". _

He remembers all the times his boyfriend’s eyes were unreadable and swears to himself he will never be that vulnerable again. He regards the boy in front of him, how he stood up for both of them and how he sat there, holding his hand and looking at him expectantly. He knew just how the other felt and was left perplexed that he still had the nobility to worry about Renjun and his lack of response. 

“Hey, you aren't okay are you?” He said softly. 

“It was almost 2 years of us being together” Renjun drones, staring into traffic. 

“I had known him for six months” the ginger boy responds. “ And I have only known you for about ten minutes. I don't need that much time to know he wasn’t worthy of your love” Renjun nods and the tears dance along his waterline, making the city lights vividly swim in his vision. The boy nods along with him, offering a crooked smile and extending out his hand.“I’m Donghyuck” he smiled. 

“Renjun” he answered, shaking his hand. 

“Okay. Renjun, this is going to sound weird and maybe a bit creepy because we just met, but due to the circumstances, I am going to risk it. I live like 2 blocks from here. You wanna come over, get wasted and watch movies? I think I have a pint of ice-cream too. Both of my roommates sleep like the dead, so they won't care” The boy looked at him hopefully, and Renjun debated it. This was a stranger, yes, but even in the state Renjun was in, he recognized that he was better off with him than alone.

“I don't want to be alone right now. I bet that you don't either” Renjun huffs, wiping his nose quickly. 

“Yeah” the boy, Donghyuck, says as they begin to walk to his apartment. “And there's no one better to understand what I am going through”

The walk was mostly spent in comfortable silence, full of sniffles from Renjun’s part. The apartment complex was just a few blocks away from his own. 

“I live near here too,” he said quietly as they walked up to the third floor. Donghyuck opened the door to 319th to a pretty monotone sight. A boy with chunky reading glasses hanging on his nose was hunched over a computer typing rapidly. Finals were nearing with summer around the corner and he looked downright miserable. When he noticed them he shifted in his chair a bit, almost getting up with a worried expression on his face. At that moment, Renjun noticed his lack of a shirt, sculpted collarbones on display above the laptop screen and he frowned; When that sight couldn’t cheer him up he knew he was fucked. 

“Duckie, Something’s wrong, what is it?” The boy questioned, taking his glasses off.

“Remember the guy I was seeing?” Donghyuck said, and he nodded, “Well, turns out he had a boyfriend”

“Oh,” the boy said, surprised, and then in two seconds, he had a scowl on his face. “_Oh_, what the fuck”

“Yeah. Renjun here was walking by a town parking lot and we found out there. Oh, by the way, this is Jeno. Jeno, this is Renjun” he said pointing at them. Renjun gave him a small smile.

“Are you okay?” Jeno said to Donghyuck. Renjun looked around the table absentmindedly to see books and pencils scattered all over. A note pad with scribbled handwriting he could barely decipher was beside the laptop and there was a beer can within arms reach. An overwhelming silence fell upon the room and Renjun refocused on the two boys. He looked between them and realized Jeno was talking to him. 

“I don't know,” Renjun said honestly. 

“Fuck that guy,” Donghyuck said, as he walked over to the fridge to grab a bottle of alcohol. He also pulled out an ice cream tub and brought two spoons. “You want some?”

“No thanks, I have to finish cramming for this test I have tomorrow evening” Jeno replied. Donghyuck nodded and kept walking. 

“Good luck” Renjun muttered, following the ginger boy into the living room. 

“Hey” Jeno called out to the smaller boy. Renjun turned and was met with a warm smile “I hope you keep in mind he didn’t deserve either of you. I knew he was kinda sketchy when he brought over a pizza with pineapple ” Jeno said. This made Renjun laugh pretty hard and he had to agree. 

“Yeah, I should have known too. Thanks for that”

“Anytime,” the boy said, putting on his glasses again and Renjun sat down next to Donghyuck. There was a person asleep on the couch next to them, but their face was covered by a thick dark green comforter. Renjun could only hear soft snores and a steady breathing pattern. 

“At least I know he’s alive in there,” Donghyuck said, lifting the comforter to reveal a beautiful boy with his eyes closed, mouth half open and a mess of brown hair sticking to his forehead. “This is Jaemin, he probably had a hard day. He sleeps out here near us when he has those since his room is the furthest from Jeno’s and my own, which are this way. His room is on the left hall” Renjun nods to this, smiling shyly at him. “Any requests?” Donghyuck asks, taking a swig of the bottle as he opens Netflix and goes through the titles. 

“Honestly no. I just want to be distracted. Something funny”

“Okay, I know what we should watch” He clicked on the new animated spiderman and Renjun nodded. 

“I love this” Renjun said, relaxing against the couch as he accepted the bottle passed to him. He took more than a few sips of it, enjoying the numbing burn of his throat as he swallowed. 

“I do too, I’ve watched it like 4 times” he answered. 

When he opened the strawberry ice cream and handed him the spoon, Renjun had already taken one too many swigs from the bottle. Donghyuck got up and left the pint in the space in between them and then came back with 2 pillows and a comforter, setting it on their laps and giving a pillow to Renjun. 

“Thank you for everything,” Renjun said.

“Don't mention it” Renjun drowned a bit more of the strong liquid and had some ice cream before feeling himself get sleepy. He fell asleep beside his new friend, unaware of the important chapter of his life that had begun that night. 

From that day onward Renjun was never alone. He had friends, real ones and that meant the world to him. When they went out they always found a way to drag him along. He ended up enjoying spending time with them all. He met Chenle and Jisung a week after meeting Haechan, Jeno and Jaemin. He could talk to Lele in Chinese and about conspiracy theories to Jisung. He felt that all was right in the world, at least in theirs. A few days afterward he met Mark. He was the oldest and the kindest, and Renjun had bonded with him because of their shared maturity. Renjun was in awe of them. He hadn't realized that he was so lonely until now. 

A year flew by and they were out at a nearby coffee shop, all 7 of them. Jeno and Mark were ordering and the others went to get a table. Jaemin sat beside Renjun, leaning his face into his shoulder and groaning loudly.

“If I don't get caffeine on my system in at least five minutes I will cry” he complained, banging his head against Renjun’s shoulder. 

“You're such a drama queen,” Heachan said with Jisung and Chenle laughing along.

“As current titleholder, are you threatened?” Jaemin bit back and Renjun had to hold in his laugh. Haechan just rolled his eyes and continued to type on his phone while Jisung and Chenle laughed some more. 

Jeno and Mark came with a tray, sliding into their booth and everyone grabbed their drinks while Renjun scrolled through his phone. They were all talking about a karaoke bar that they wanted to check out. 

“Renjun, drink up,” Mark said, handing Renjun a white mug with tea. 

“What is this?” Renjun asked Mark confusedly.

“Your order, jasmine tea,” Mark said, voice monotone as he kept side-eyeing Donghyuck who was talking with Jaemin. The boy had downloaded a dating app a few days prior, and being the infamous flirts they were, both boys enjoyed talking to cute strangers. Mark looked like a kicked puppy and Renjun couldn't understand why he didn’t make a move when Haechan was interested. He had a puzzled look on his face when he heard him giggle and show Jaemin a text on his phone. Mark was jealous. 

“I didn't order anything,” Renjun said, pulling Mark back from his own visibly racing thoughts. 

“Oh, then I guess Jeno did for you” he replied, eyes still trained on Donghyuck. It was kind of cute. Renjun decided to give him a little push.

“Mark” he whispered, finally snapping him out of his trance. “You should ask him out,” he tells Mark in his ear, causing him to visibly flinch. Mark shook his head no rapidly as if trying to make the blush on his cheeks disappear like a drawing on an etch a sketch. “ Well you should”

“He should what?” Jaemin asks brightly, his road to coffee deprivation recovery going smoothly. All five boys turn to them and Renjun hesitates on what to say. His eyes scan the table and land on his cup of tea.

“Oh, I was talking to Mark about tea. He said he doesn't drink it as much as he would like to” he says, eyes landing on Jeno who was currently playing with Jaemin’s peach-colored hair. Just as Chenle questions Mark (”But Hyung, you refused to drink tea when I tried to get you to like it, you said you didn’t want the _grass water._..”) their eyes meet, Jeno blushes light pink, so faint that if Renjun hadn't spent the last year studying him he would have missed it. He pointed to his cup and mouthed a quick _thank you._

_ You're welcome, _Jeno mouthed back with sincere eyes, giving him the warmest smile known to mankind. Renjun looked away.

•••

Jaemin was in awe of his newfound feelings, but that didn’t mean that he was denying them. He is staring at both boys recklessly. Renjun was on the couch with a book he was halfway done with. His left leg was tucked beside Jeno who was playing some game on his phone, his head in the smaller boys' lap, sighing as slender fingers massaged his scalp. Jenos feet were on Jaemin’s lap and since Renjun’s legs were around Jeno, they pressed up against Jaemin's crossed legs. He traced the arch of the older boys' foot, earning the slightest twitch of Renjun’s lip. When he did it again, he saw a smile bloom on his face. Jaemin couldn’t help but be proud of himself for causing it. He did it once more, fingers digging into the soft flesh of his foot and Renjun tried to jerk away desperately.

“Nana” Renjun pleads but fails, beginning to vibrate with laughter. Jaemin tickles his foot harder as he feels Jeno's foot move in his lap. 

“Hey, stop or I’m gonna kick you in the balls” he warns, concentrating on the game.

“Sounds kinky, I didn’t know you were into that Jen” Jaemin smirks.

“Jeno, help me” Renjun barely says in between giggles, almost out of breath. He had slid down the couch and was now curled into Jeno. Jeno begins to kick Jaemin but he grabs his leg and tickles him too, causing Jeno to squirm into Renjun. It looked like they were spooning and Jaemin's heart skipped 2 beats.

"Bet you weren't expecting that huh?” Jaemin snickers as Hyuck walks into the apartment. 

“God Jeno, you're still letting him tickle you like that when you're bigger than him? Pathetic” Donghyuck scoffs, taking a long sip of his iced coffee while shutting the door louder than he usually did. Jaemin was opening his mouth to ask him for a sip and before he could Hyuck gave him a stern look.

“No, you're not having any of my coffee. You have an addiction” 

“Christ, you're being extra bitchy today, what is going on?” Jaemin asks. He stopped tickling the boys, who were left hyperventilating messes on the couch. 

“Mark _ fucking _ Lee”

“Oh, you mean the most clueless motherfucker on earth?” Jaemin jokes.

“No, that would be Lee Jeno, but I think he may be a close second. It must be a requirement for the _Lee_ name to be oblivious, I must be fucking adopted or some bullshit” Hyuck grumbles, leaving to his room. 

“I should go talk to him,” Renjun says, getting up and adjusting his clothes. His shorts had ridden up from the thrashing and he cutely wiggled his butt to get rid of the uncomfortable feeling, walking towards Donghyuck's room.

“You are so brave,” Jeno says after him, his heart eyes only obvious to Jaemin because Renjun walks down the hall nonchalantly. 

Jaemin’s mind had been confusing him a lot lately. He knew he liked boys the same as girls, but he didn't expect to have a crush on two boys at the same time. There was Jeno, a constant presence. He isn't even sure his feelings for him ever left. Not when he is sweet and caring and selfless, even if he truly is the most clueless motherfucker on earth. Then came Renjun, witty Renjun who was much stronger than he gave himself credit for. The sandy-haired boy who attached himself at their hips and made Jaemin remember how good it could feel to be in love. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading my work! Feedback is always appreciated and help w grammar and plot errors is god sent. Hope you enjoyed this chapter.
> 
> I also take requests and prompts on my twitter, @staccato_renjun


	2. Stronger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renjun is surprised with new facts about his past relationship; Jeno and Jaemin are there to witness it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter has some mentions of non-con, so take this as a trigger warning

When Renjun got bad, he liked to walk around to distract himself. Now, was it was 2 in the morning and he couldn’t sleep. His brain kept harassing him with a loop of the breakup. He replayed all the signs he missed, questioned himself on how he had been so dumb and fragile. Renjun was hard on others, but he was the hardest on himself. He couldn’t forgive himself for being so vulnerable and letting himself be blinded by affection. He hated himself for thinking he was not good enough in the relationship, and now he hated himself for not doing things differently; Maybe that would have caused Jian to be faithful. Deep down he knows he wasn’t the problem but still his thoughts kept popping up like a broken record. 

He eventually sat down on a park bench, staring at the twinkling fountain water in front of him. He doesn’t know how long he stayed there, spaced out and thinking. _ You should know how to keep a guy: make him food, pay attention to him and be a fiend in bed._ He did none of those things. He cooked mediocre food, he only paid him attention when he didn't have to study or could spend his time with him and in bed, they were not very compatible. Renjun wasn't vanilla, but he didn't think he was kinky at all; Jian wanted him to be more submissive, but that wasn't really his nature. He didn’t care if he was on the giving or receiving end as long as he got pleasure, but sometimes he wanted to give. His boyfriend always wanted to give… in the end Renjun caved to whatever he wanted so they wouldn’t argue. The fact that their intimacy worked like that was yet another ignored red flag.

Renjun shook his head, trying to get the images out. All the times he just didn't feel like it and yet he presented himself to him, letting him do what he pleased while he laid there lifelessly. He began to cry again, admitting that he had treated his past self poorly. In retrospection, he realized he was still mistreating himself by allowing his heart to wallow over someone who wasn’t worth his tears. The city lights were now blurry over his soaking waterline and he let the tears fall. 

He had to change a lot of things in his life. Make himself a priority. Give himself value. But he felt that he was too weak to do that and it made him simultaneously angry and sad. 

“Renjun?” a voice asked, a bit stunned and he looked over to see Jaemin. He wore dark green cargo pants, a white button-up, and a light denim jacket. He was a bit dressed up, his hair was actually styled and he wore brown leather boots instead of his usual worn down sneakers. 

“What are you doing here? It’s really late” he questioned, sitting and staring at the fountain with him.

“I could ask you the same” Renjun answered, a bit cold he realized and apologized. Jaemin laughed and dismissed it. 

“Well, my mom is adamant about finding me a girlfriend… she keeps setting me up on blind dates with her friends' daughters. Which is- don’t get me wrong, they're nice but I am honestly not interested. I already know what I want…We went out late and tonight's date got drunk and I had to take her home, it was hectic” 

“You should talk to your mom about what you want” Renjun advised.

“I did after everything happened,” Jaemin said, combing his own hair backward with his fingers and sighing deeply. Renjun was about to ask him what that was when Jaemin broke the silence. “Your turn. Why are you sitting in a park in Seoul at… 2:25 am?” He said, looking at the clock on his phone. 

“Just thinking,” Renjun said, cracking a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. 

“I can tell you’ve been crying… Is it about him?” Renjun nods at his question, looking away. “You don’t have to tell me, but I just want you to know that you can if you want to” he hears Jaemin say calmly. Renjun finally talks, and once he starts he doesn’t stop. He feels like he’s overflowing with words. 

“I just- I gave so much of myself to him and he took and took and left me empty. After everything, he said I had meant nothing. I was just a side piece for almost 2 years, god … I am such a gullible person when I am in love. I let him do all those things, I lost so much of myself just to make him happy, but he made me miserable. I can’t forget that” Renjun sobbed. 

“What did he do?” Jaemin's tone and demeanor changed. Renjun noticed and shook his head no, wiping some tears away hesitantly. 

“It was never like that”

“What does that mean, exactly?” Jaemin questioned further and Renjun sighed.

“He always wanted me to um, receive and sometimes I was tired or not in the mood to take it and told him no. But he would keep _touching _and I would let him get what he wanted just so he would leave me alone I guess”

“Renjun,” he said, wiping away more tears that had gathered around his eyes. “It wasn't consensual if you said no and he kept pressuring you. And it wasn't if you did it just to get him to back off”

“I guess you're right” Renjun admitted. After some time, Renjun felt Jaemin’s hand settle around his shoulder. He brought Renjun into his chest. 

“Are you cold?” Jeamin asked, and Renjun said no. Jaemin knew he was lying since it was a windy night and put him inside his jacket, trying to get him as warm as he could. It was a surprisingly chilly summer night. 

“I am so weak” he sighed against Jaemin's chest. 

“Why do you think that?” Jaemin questioned expectantly. 

“Well, look at Donghyuck. We went through the same circumstances and he has been doing well, meanwhile, I am such a shit show I leave my apartment at ungodly hours of the night in my pajamas. What the fuck is wrong with me?”

“Well… I drown my sorrows with coffee. Jeno overworks his brain so he doesn’t have time to feel anything. Mark takes care of everyone else's pain to forget his own. Chenle laughs and eats carbs to make himself feel better, it rarely happens but it's very interesting to watch. Jisung dances his insecurities away every day. You deal with pain by wallowing and isolating yourself. Haechan deals with his pain by giving Mark blue balls… we are all different” they laughed at that last comment. Since Renjun had his ear pressed against his chest he could hear and feel the quaint sounds escaping his mouth closely. “Everyone deals with things in their own peculiar way. You may feel a bit off the rails right now but we will make sure you're back on track soon. And Renjun?” Jaemin asked quietly, to make sure he was listening because this was something he needed him to hear.

“Yes?” 

“You are stronger than you know,” Jaemin said, giving him a small smile.

Renjun wished he could take pictures with his eyes. But he couldn’t, so he blinked trying to memorize every detail on the pink-haired boys face. Jaemin was looking down at him and leaned to give him a kiss on his forehead as a mother would do to a child. Renjun was left stunned. The grin Jaemin gave him was worth the embolism he almost had. “Come on, let’s go home,” Jaemin said, taking off his jacket and giving it to him completely. Renjun tugged it close, absorbing all of Jaemin's heat and feeling sleepy already. 

“Wait, my home is that way” Renjun realized making Jaemin shrug, smiling sweetly afterward. 

“Stay’’

Everyone else was asleep when they got to the apartment. They made their way quietly to Jaemin’s room and Renjun was surprised to see Jeno asleep on the huge bed. 

“He likes to sleep here sometimes,” Jaemin said unbuttoning his pants and standing there in boxer briefs. He kept his shirt on, unlike Jeno who only had grey sweatpants on. Renjun nodded, looking at all the pictures on the walls. Jeno snored softly in his sleep, not even stirring at their presence. In the pictures, it was all of them, before Renjun was there. There were pictures of Jaemin with pre-pubescent Jisung and Chenle. Them hanging out, prom pictures, baby pictures of Jeno, Donghyuck, Mark and him. There was a picture of Renjun, Jeno and him in the cafe from a while ago. Renjun began to notice his face was scattered on the wall and his heart did a little flip. One picture caught his eye because of how worn out it looked; like Jaemin had folded it to carry around in his wallet. It was him and Jeno in front of a pale blue treehouse. Renjun traced his fingers over the folds and felt a warm breath by his right ear. 

“That’s one of my favorite ones” Jaemin admitted. 

“I can tell,” Renjun says into the silence, almost a whisper. 

“Jeno gave me my first kiss that day” Jaemin remembers, voice full of something Renjun couldn’t quite name. “It was my birthday. He said he had something special to give me and he took me up the treehouse. We must have been like six years old. Before the kiss, Jeno said he had to do something and that he had to do it _now because_ he wanted to be the first and didn’t want anyone to beat him to it” Jaemin giggled. “My mom always says that he was extremely jealous of Jisung when we were younger because I liked our maknae a lot. Our mom’s still make fun of it all the time” Renjun laughed and cooed at the picture, tracing his fingers over one of them 3. “Let’s go to bed” 

Jaemin lifted his comforter to lead Renjun in between him and Jeno. It was warm and when Jaemin pulled up the covers and laid on his side, languidly staring at Renjun, he felt the safest he has felt in a long time. Jeno stirred, slipping an arm around him and tugging him close while breathing him in. Renjun held his laughter in and Jaemin giggled, completely stunned by his sleepy actions. 

“He likes to cuddle,” Jaemin said, before shutting his eyes softly. Goodnights were whispered quietly and they slept. 

Renjun woke up still surrounded by warmth and two boys stirring awake beside him. His legs were tangled with Jaemin’s and Jeno was almost on top of them. He moved and before looking a bit confused, he flashed him his signature eye smile with a sleepy twist. He was going to speak when Heachan and Chenle busted inside the room with ear-piercing laughter and screeching. Jeno fondled around the bed for the sheets because he was shirtless and it only caused Chenle to laugh and scream more. He rolled to the kitchen and Haechan just stayed beside the bed, lifting an eyebrow. Renjun could hear Chenle and Jisung talking in the other room. Mark popped his head inside and mumbled, seemingly examining the situation “...too early for this shit…” he admitted and stepped out. 

“Well well well” Haechan sang. 

“Nothing happened,” Jaemin said quickly, more flustered than ever. 

“Obviously. Your game isn’t strong enough to bag both Renjun and Jeno”

•••

They were on a late-night jog. It was exactly 11:39 pm when they sped through the park where Jaemin had bumped into Renjun weeks ago. He flinched at the memory and his restless eyes spotted a flash of pale blue in his peripheral vision. “Jeno” Jaemin spoke, grabbing his hand gently to get him to stop. Jeno stopped in his tracks and spotted the side of Renjuns face. He sat on the same bench Jaemin had found him, dressed in a blue hoodie. A boy with brown hair they knew well stood in front of him, face contorted into what it seemed was anger. Not anger, fury. Jaemin approached with Jeno at his heels, both hyper-aware that they were treading on dangerous ground but neither cared. 

“Everything okay?” Jeno spoke firmly, standing behind Renjun. Whenever Jeno was upset, which didn’t happen often, it got scary. He wasn’t initially aggressive physically or in his tone, but if you cornered him the things he would spit out were intimidating. He could go from sweet to sour in the blink of an eye, making you choke on his bitter words. And if someone said something rude to his boys, that’s when things would get out of hand. 

Jaemin noticed that Renjun was shaking like a leaf and it tugged at his heartstrings; He hoped Jeno didn't notice. He was a simple creature. He was naturally endowed but mainly stayed out of trouble, enjoyed being calm and shrugged off advances made to his own person. But when anyone dared to even send a wrong look towards his family they became a threat and Jeno was on the offense. Jaemin secretly loved that about him, but now he was nervous. He didn't want anyone to get hurt. And by that, he meant he didn't want the arrogant prick in front of them to lose a few teeth, for Jeno’s sake. When the boy looked at them he shook his head in disapproval. 

“Oh, don’t tell me you are so pathetic that you became friends with all of them” 

“Well he did, not that it concerns you anymore Jian” Jeno spit out. Renjun looked a bit taken aback at that and unconsciously drifted closer to Jaemin. “Thank you, by the way. I don’t know how you do it, but even though you are a _ pathetic _excuse of a human being you managed to bring us all together”

“You know, I never liked you” the brunette sneers. 

“Likewise” Jeno bites back unaffectedly. “We done here?” 

“Whatever,” He says and turns to leave but changes his mind “I wanted to say if Donghyuck is still the cumwhore he was when I met him you could eventually hit that. With Renjun though, make sure he’s wasted...” Renjun’s heart stopped. “He’s not so much fun otherwise, but it’s _so _worth the hassle. Go from behind. He will beg you to go hard-” This time, before Jeno could, Jaemin saw red. He doesn't even register what he's doing until he is practically sitting on the boy's chest and sees the bloodstains on his knuckles. He feels two pairs of arms pull him away forcefully and tries to get one last hit before he's out of reach. 

“Jaemin stop!” he hears Renjun roar when he tries to escape their grip. 

“Calm down” Jeno whispers, both hands on his face to keep him from looking at the other boy who was currently scrambling to get up from the concrete. 

“Hey, Nana, look at me” Jaemin does and while Jeno tries to talk him down, Renjun drags the both of them away hesitantly. The boy hasn't gotten up yet but he will soon. 

They decide it’s best to go to Renjun’s apartment. The others were in Donghyuck’s and the last thing they want is for Mark, Chenle, and Jisung to see Jaemin in the state he was in. Especially Mark. Jeno and Renjun iced and cleaned his open knuckles. Each boy managed one hand, smearing ointment around them & wrapping them in bandages. 

“So I guess this is how you feel when I pull something like that” Jeno thinks aloud. It felt unbearably scary for Jaemin. Just to think that there always was a small probability that Jeno would encounter somebody stronger and much more violent. Somebody who could really hurt him, it drove Jaemin insane.

“Yeah, you make me feel great impotence. Look at how the turns have tabled” Jaemin says, attempting to lighten the mood. Renjun is so quiet and spaced out that the both of them grow worried. Just when they are about to speak to him he beats them to it. 

“I think I am gonna go to bed for a few days. Help yourselves to anything. You can crash on the couch or guest room, there are towels in the bathroom and you know where everything is” he walked away, giving them a small wave. 

•••

Once in his room, Renjun couldn’t stop replaying the boy's words like a CCTV loop. _ Make sure he’s wasted. _He put on a very big yellow t-shirt and shimmied out of his pants for the night. He looked at his body in the mirror, lifting his shirt a bit to look at himself. He was still small Renjun, but somehow his body didn’t feel his. He got into bed, still amazed at how Jaemin acted so fast he couldn’t comprehend it. How the boy's fists were restless in his futile attempt to avenge Donghyuck and Renjun’s dignity. His ex had practically raped him. Before he felt like maybe it wasn’t like that since they were dating and all but if he was passed out and can’t remember anything, Renjun was sure it counted as rape. It sent an unpleasant feeling down his stomach as the door creaked open and two boys stepped in. 

“You left your fuzzy socks by the couch. I thought you’d want them since you wear them to sleep most of the time” Jaemin said, scratching the back of his head. 

“You scared me back there” Renjun spoke up. He met Jaemins eyes with a determination that was only his. “You scared me so much Nana” he finishes, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, accompanied by a long hug. He deserved all the kisses in the world after what he did. Renjun would rather cut off his own leg and eat it like a chicken drumstick than admit that to Jaemin. “Never do that again”

“Well I’m sorry but if they deserve it, I will do that again. And again. Until you realize that you deserve respect and more” Jaemin says, lifting his chin absentmindedly to establish dominance. 

“Couldn’t have said it better myself” Jeno nods. Renjun shakes his head no and sits on the bed again. 

“This isn’t about me deserving better or some bullshit, it's about you getting hurt. I don’t think it's a worthy cause. You can always start fights but what if one day you can't finish them? What if someone pulls out a knife or a gun and-”

“Whoa slow down there, nothing like that is gonna happen!” Jaemin argues.

“Yeah, 'cause you’re goddamn clairvoyant and you just _know_” Renjun bites back a huff of annoyance and glares at them from his spot on the edge of the bed. Once again, both boys have more than a few inches on him.

“Well maybe we are Injun-ah” Jeno fucking smirks, Jaemin curses when he feels himself twitch in excitement at the sight of them being like that with each other. 

“Maybe you are then, fuck you both” Renjun says, waving his hand at Jeno’s face in dismissal.

“That’s what I like to hear,” Jeno says turn around to leave. Jaemin feels the paleness of his face. _ Fuck them. Both of them. _ It was a joke, a cruel one at that but a joke nonetheless. Jeno is leaving the room when Renjun yells his answer.

“Jeno, I swear I’m gonna-” 

“How are you feeling?” Jaemin asks and the small boys' fiery eyes automatically soften. 

“I’m shocked” Renjun ponders. “ I shouldn’t be, I knew he was bad but I just never thought he would do something like that. I can’t remember doing any of the things he said… I am just disappointed that I have such bad taste in boys”

“You and Donghyuck both” Jaemin says as Jeno made his way back into the room. “I swear, the last decent guy he liked was Minhyung back in middle school”

“Well, he did have a crush on Taeil, but that was when Hyung used to babysit for the Lee’s” Jeno adds.

“Oh come on, that doesn’t even count. It lasted like 2 months” Jaemin groans, draping himself over a sleepy Renjun. Renjun let himself be coddled into a comfortable position and his eyelids were heavier than ever. Jeno took a picture and smiled a little at the sight. Both boys gave him a sleepy variation of the stink eye but he didn’t care. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading :)  
please point out grammatical and plot errors


	3. Lucky Strike

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tell me all the ways to love you...

It was the middle of summer and well, they were bored and partly broke. They had no luck with summer jobs and decided to wallow in each other's apartments, rotating from Mark’s, Renjun and Donghyuck’s. Eventually, everyone found something to do. Jaemin and Hyuck began to play basketball on the complex court, just to kill time and help the summer go by quicker. Mark quickly got into it too, so did Jisung and Chenle. They took beach chairs and coolers down and made a whole day of it. Renjun joined, but when he got a massive sunburn he decided he should stick to his trusty books. He was currently devouring one on the couch upstairs. He could hear Jeno yelling loudly at his game and the stomping of his foot. He laughed to himself before he continued, going to the fridge for a sip of Jaemin’s iced coffee. He scrunches up his nose in disgust, deciding against drinking the strange concoction. Mark walked in simultaneously, sweaty and a bit red from the sun. 

“Are you coming?” he asked, voice soft and inviting. 

“No Hyung, I am almost halfway through this-” 

“What??! Oh MY GOD, I AM A MORON” Jeno yelled, frustration evident in his voice. 

“Is he still glued to his gaming chair?” Mark’s face changed as he began to walk over to Jeno’s room. 

Renjun could tell Mark was upset, so he quietly went to the couch and kept on reading. Mark was a mom of sorts to all of them. He made sure everyone was on their bullshit, and when Jeno was obsessively wasting his summer away playing video games, Mark was having a rough time doing his self-proclaimed job. “What the fuck Jeno? You have been up since 3 am, and you keep playing man. Don’t your fingers hurt?” Renjun could hear Mark moving and prepared for the tantrum. 

“Mark, I’m fine. I don’t need to- please don’t do that don’t turn it off!” Jeno pleaded. When the music of the game could no longer be heard Renjun knew it was too late.

“You have to go outside. Get some fucking sun, walk, I don’t care just get out for at least an hour. Go to Chenle’s pool”

“Hyung, you know Lele is out of town for the week,” Jeno said and Renjun could hear the frown on his voice. 

“So? He gave us keys. He doesn’t care, therefore I don’t care. Go” Mark said, walking out and massaging his forehead. “And take Renjun with you,” he said as if remembering something. Renjun cursed him (his book set in the Italian Riviera was reaching the point of culmination) but thanked him at the same time. He loved to swim. He walked to Jeno’s room to see him dramatically sprawled on his chair. 

“Jeno?” 

“No. I don’t wanna move” he said. 

“Come on, it will be fun. We can swim and talk. I’ll treat you to strawberry ice cream…” Jeno’s eyes perked up at that, nodding his head and getting up. He rummaged through his drawers for a bathing suit and a t-shirt and threw one at Renjun. “Here, you can borrow this” 

When the pair walked down, they spotted the rest of the boys scrimmaging. They all yelled in victory when they saw Jeno outside after like a week. “Renjun, you're a goddamn king amongst men,” Haechan said, scooping him up in a sweaty hug. 

“You’re going to Chenle’s?” Mark asked. Jeno grumbled. 

“Fuck I miss Chenle” Jisung moaned dramatically, and Hyuck laughed at him. 

  
“Quit acting like he’s _d_ word, he will be back in a few days” Jaemin comforted him, albeit roughly. 

“We’re going,” Jeno said and Renjun followed. Before he did, Jaemin gave Renjun a quick kiss on his forehead. The others were too busy to notice but Jeno was not. He stayed there, almost as stunned as Renjun. They were both blushing furiously and Renjun cleared his throat before muttering a quick _thank you _and leading them out of the complex. They walked the few blocks in silence until they got close to the Zhong townhome. Jeno slid in the keys and opened the door, dropping them on the table. Renjun followed him upstairs closely. On the last floor or the roof, there was a pool. It was indoor and Renjun had never seen such a welcoming sight. The floor and walls of the pool were decorated by a huge sea-themed mosaic. Turtles, stingrays and whale sharks were plastered all around and they twinkled lightly with the pool light. While Renjun was in awe, Jeno wasted no time jumping inside. The calm surface was disturbed but it didn't ruin the haze Renjun was in. It made the sight much more beautiful to see Jeno's surface with his hair pushed back and a contagious laugh. 

“Is it cold?” Renjun asked, and Jeno nodded yes. Renjun laughed at this. “You’re supposed to say no” 

“I am always gonna tell you the truth,” Jeno said, giving Renjun a look he couldn’t figure out. 

Renjun sat by the edge of the pool and dipped his feet in. It was kind of cold but bearable. As Jeno swam closer, he noticed he had taken off his shirt off. This was what he hated about Jeno. His voyeur streak and his perfect marble-like sculpted chest. His body looked like a walking, talking and breathing Bernini. 

It made him upset. He mostly thought that religion was a farce. That god was created by humans to lull the feeling of dread caused by our insignificant existence. But whenever Jeno walked around with his slightly toned stomach and his stupidly perfect neck and collarbones he questioned if he was wrong. Something bigger definitely had to do with this masterpiece. God took his time with Lee Jeno and it made Renjun stupid. He focused on the bridge of his nose when talking so that he didn't have to look at those brown eyes that didn’t help either.

“Renjun?” Jeno questioned waving his hand in front of his face slowly.

“Sorry, what did you ask?” 

“I asked you how ballet is going”

“Oh, it's been good. I need to keep practicing. I need to perfect ballon and how to manipulate it to look lighter when I move. The instructor tells me I’m good, but I want to do better” Renjun got chills. He never realized how good it felt to challenge himself and push his limits, which was exactly what he was doing in ballet. The thought of the satisfaction it would bring him once he reached his goal was almost euphoric. 

“If you manage to look lighter you’ll float away,” Jeno says, and Renjun swears he is looking at him like he looks at Jaemin sometimes. 

“Maybe that’s what I want” Renjun laughed.

“Take us with you” Jeno whispered with a small glint in his eyes. Renjun assumed it was the seven of them and nodded lightly. 

“Can I pull you in?” Jeno asked mischievously, but his kindness was still there. Renjun sighed before he nodded and closed his eyes. He thought Jeno would grab his leg and tug him in but instead he stood up in the pool and leaned to put an arm around the older and another under his legs. He dropped him in the water carefully before letting go.

“I thought you were gonna violently pull me in and dislocate my leg while doing it” 

“No, I’m not… _ you _” he laughed. They swam, talked and laid around the pool and never tired of it. Renjun felt like for the first time in a while he could talk and laugh as much as he wanted without feeling annoying. It was like that with all of 6 of his friends. He was a bit infatuated with all of them. 

“You were a cute kid,” he says to Jeno and he scrunches up his nose.

“I’m still a cute kid”

“No, but like, I mean, in Jaemin’s pictures. I remember them from that night. You looked like best friends, you guys seem different now. I mean you look like best friends still, but I don’t know, different in a way? If that makes any sense”

“Well, we’ve changed. It's been years. I have known Jaemin for so long. I was always with him because we were in the same grade. Even though this was convenient, it wasn’t the only reason why we were close friends. Our moms were good friends as well; Still, I don't think that's what binds us all together… We may not have a lot of common interests but we do have a love for each other, that's what keeps us close. That’s what keeps all 7 of us close. I and Jaemin were inseparable since our pre-school days. He is in almost all my childhood memories. Haechan was obviously there too, but he was always following Mark around to cope with his infatuation. It was mostly just us two since Chenle and Jisung were in the same grade as well. Jaemin taught me a lot, about everything”

“That’s charmingly sweet, but kind of vague, Mr. _ I’m always gonna tell you the truth” _Renjun jokes. 

“Well, your statement was vague as well xīngān” Jeno smirks, leaning a bit closer to Renjun in a silent challenge. Fucking Chenle. They somehow all figured out how much pet names affected him. Now they were all doing this, and they were all receiving help from Chenle. Renjun grew up with a single mom and not a lot of verbal affection from her or his family. His parents divorced when he was very young, so he wasn’t used to hearing the endearments of couples either. The _baby, pumpkin, mochi _and all of that made him blush and stutter. They took notice and teased him all the time but when Chenle called him _baobèi_ and he straight up malfunctioned while walking, they knew they had hit jackpot. It was even better (or worse, at least for Renjun) to call him pet names in his native tongue. Jeno had called him _xīngān_; Renjun’s heart skipped a beat and he struggles to process what happened. _Xīngān_, the word bounced around Renjun’s brain. It meant "my heart and liver". It was probably Renjun’s favorite pet name; It definitely was now. He liked it because for some it was unusual and misunderstood. It sounded gory when he first heard it, but it has gained a lot of depth since then. Those were the 2 organs a human can't live without. If someone is your xīngān, you can’t live without them. This made Renjun a bit dizzy with affection.

“_What do you want to know?” _Jeno whispers, looking down at him. Renjun swallows and when water touches his chin he notices he had drifted deeper into the pool. He stood on his tiptoes, looking up while the taller held his gaze. Jeno wrapped a firm arm around him and pulled him to where he could reach again as Renjun gathered the courage to speak up. 

“What did he teach you?” Renjun finished with the hitch of a breath. They were so close that Renjun could finally make sense of the moles on the left side of Jeno’s face. He could never get close enough to see but now he was and it made him a livewire. 

“Well, he was my first. My first everything; first friend, first crush, first kiss, first time, first disappointment, first heartbreak… but that was a long time ago. It all happened in like 2 months. It was over fast and it almost tore everyone in their own direction. We were young, clumsy and still coming to terms with ourselves. Jaemin was having a hard time understanding that he liked guys and girls. I was struggling with what I now know was internalized homophobia and we just couldn’t figure it out. Shit was always coming between us and we both felt that something was missing, it just didn’t work. We decided we would stay friends, and since we never gave each other labels with the others, it worked out fine. We kept on being real friends, not like those broken up couples that are just weirdly codependent. We really care about each other. The guys helped us out a lot. We salvaged our friendship, but if something like that were to happen again, I don’t really know what we’d do. I can’t go through that again…But I don't think I’ll have to” Jeno said, his eyes falling to the olders' mouth. Renjun could feel Jeno’s breathing in his nose and his cheeks dusted bright pink. 

“Oh,” Renjun said, visibly surprised on how much Jeno had told him. He would be lying if he said he didn’t know, that he had missed the longing looks shared by the two boys. “I just felt something had happened… sorry for intruding. I just want to understand”

“Understand what?” Jeno said with a knowing smile on his face and Renjun paled. He didn’t know what Jeno knew that he didn't and couldn’t understand why it was so important to know about Jeno and Jaemin’s history. Just when Renjun was about to babble some incoherent answer, he heard his phone ring.

Jeno let go of his waist like he was burned. He quickly turned around and swam to the edge. He got out pulling himself up by his arms and answered his phone on speaker. Renjun could hear Donghyuck bitching about being hungry and Jeno laughed at him. The boys wanted thai food from a place close by. Jaemin was yelling “no more ramen, fuck ramen” like he was going on strike at an alarming volume in the background.

“Let’s go” he beckoned.

•••

“He asked about us” Jeno murmured as he played on his phone. They were alone. Jaemin was sipping his daily coffee monstrosity while doing some stress relief coloring. To Jeno that seemed counter-effective. He shook his head “You should really stop drinking that shit, that’s probably what makes you like this” he quips, pointing at his bouncing leg and tapping it. 

“What did you tell him?” Jaemin asked, completely ignoring his statement. 

“The truth” 

“_Everything_?” Jaemin pauses and tears his eyes away from him. Jeno shakes his head. 

“Well yes everything_,_ but not in detail” images of a sloppy Jaemin on his knees in a barely lit closet come to mind. He was a force to be reckoned with when he set his mind to things and that summer he set his mind on Lee Jeno; His memory supplies him with an endless slideshow. Invitingly open thighs on his lap. Jaemin using his soft hands on him. Jaemin on all fours, fingers gentle but precise. The curve of his back. Sweat sticking them together while he covered Jaemin's mouth with his hand. His old room, cream-colored bed sheets, the unspoken thrill of having to keep it down. Jeno omitted to tell these things to Renjun. He hoped someday they could tell him all about it; But for now, it was just their secret. 

“We almost kissed” Jeno confesses, a pang of strange guilt bubbling in his stomach. Jeno wanted something that he couldn’t make sense of; He felt was being selfish. Jaemin looks at him and then at his mouth, visibly swallowing. 

“Well, why didn’t you?” is all he answers before leaving the room nonchalantly, a mug of coffee in hand.

•••

The five of them actually went to the karaoke bar a long time after it had been planned. Jisung and Chenle couldn't come along and they were mad, but the five knew they would get over it eventually. They had built a pillow fort in Jisung’s room and refused to talk to any of them. 

“Can I come in? Jaemin asked softly to the boys inside the fort. 

“What’s the password?” Jisung said begrudgingly. Chenle huffed inside so all of them could hear. 

“I love you?” Jaemin guessed, and the sheet that was supposed to be the door opened a little bit before the sound of skin hitting skin could be heard. 

“No Jisung!” Chenle said. 

After a while, they gave up on talking. They were sure they would get over it. “When Jisung and I are old enough to drink, you guys are taking us out, and none of you guys will drink…” Chenle kept ranting. 

“Of course Lele, and we will have that fight on the roof wearing our best suits. Don’t be upset” Mark reassured. 

“Shut up Mark, I don’t like you right now” All of their laughs could be heard except for Chenle’s.

“I legit cant wait to see Renjun square up with an overgrown Jisung, shit’s gonna be hilarious,” Hyuck said and soon Jeno was laughing so hard that he was in pain. He kept trying to talk but couldn’t and he kept hitting Jaemin like he did when he laughed so hard he couldn’t breathe. After a bit, they had to leave. 

“Guys were going, we love you!” Jeno yelled. Both boys inside grumbled bitter _ I love you too’s. _

“It’s gonna be interesting to watch. Jisung only hits if provoked and you are so tiny but so angry, like_ Stitch_, it’s adorable Injunnie” Jaemin said outside the bar, ruffling Renjun’s hair. Renjun yelled at him for that and Jeno secretly watched as they bickered with his heart full of love.

Once inside, they all sat down and began to talk and drink. Mark and Haechan were on one side, with Haechan draped over Mark like a cat while the latter pretended that he hated it. Renjun could see the glint of happiness in both their eyes and once again wished that he could take a picture with his eyes. One blink and he would have that moment saved. His friends looked so incessantly happy under the neon lights he hoped they always remained in that haze. Jeno and Jaemin were already standing up, trying to drag Renjun along to the small stage where people could sing. Renjun quickly clung to the table and they frowned. 

“I hate crowds” Renjun confessed sadly. 

“It’s okay, we can do it for the 3 of us” Jaemin assured him. Under the lights, both boys glanced at each other and nodded determinately. Mark and Hyuck were talking loudly, bickering about someone. 

“I don’t like Taeil hyung, not in that way”

“Yeah sure, that’s not what he thinks since you matched with him on that app...” Mark laughed, and Renjun’s ears washed out the conversation. He heard a familiar song playing, one he had been hearing a lot since he started to come over. The thrilling synth of _ Lucky Strike _begins in sync with the lyrics on the huge flat screen behind the two boys. The warm colors of the place really suited this song, people were swaying, talking and drinking as they attempted to sing. They made a lot of eye contact with Renjun. Their voices were good; Sometimes Jaemin tried to go higher and it made them laugh.

Renjun really liked this song. He learned the lyrics fast and sang it to himself often because of its dream-like quality. The melody reminded him of long nights spent with his best friends feeling eternal while dancing around in the kitchen making pancakes. The lyrics made him excited and a little bubbly, it felt like feeling excited about love and infatuation. When the chorus came, the boys looked at each other in a jokingly serenading way, giggling incessantly along with the track. They pointed at Renjun and winked at him as they kept repeating _tell me all the ways to love you. _

The way Haechan and Mark were clowning them for butchering the song took a bit of edge off of Renjun. They were seemingly unaware of what they were doing and Renjun was thankful. His skin was prickling and he felt the need to run. He didn't know if he wanted to run to them or away from them but he felt so much all at once it was nauseating. He had tried with all of his being to numb himself, to hide from them and shut them out. Every single time Jaemin and Jeno came in with their metaphorical wrecking ball and demolished his metaphorical walls, turning them into metaphorical rubble as if it was nothing. It only ended up making him feel anxious.

They were getting too close, close enough to hurt him. _ How could he trust them after everything that had happened? How would they work? Would they really commit to him? Do they only want to play with him? _ Renjun’s mind was racing and they kept singing to him. He felt he could cry of happiness and fear. He knew all this time he was falling for them, slowly but surely. Every day they did something Renjun found incredibly loving and everyday Renjun convinced himself that the boys were too good to be good for him. So he pushed his feelings back; He felt overwhelmed by the music, the lights, his feelings of doubt and uncertainty, weighing him down like a rock on his chest. All the questions were echoing in his head along with the two voices repeating _ Tell me all the ways to love you… _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for reading my work! Feedback is always appreciated and help w grammar and plot errors is god sent. Hope you enjoyed this chapter.
> 
> I also take requests and prompts on my twitter, @staccato_renjun


	4. Catharsis

“You haven’t gone on any more dates since that night ” Jeno states as they cross the street to their apartment, finally finishing the small stroll. It was late when they left the bar, and Mark took Heachan after he started to get a bit _too_ drunk and insisted on sleeping at over at his place. He had tried to get them all to stay but Hyuck wanted it to be just them. Mark obliged, but bitched the entire way there. He dropped off a sleepy Renjun at their apartment and Jeno and Jaemin stayed to help Mark carry Hyuck up the steep stairs to the 5th floor. 

“I spoke to my mom” Jaemin answers quietly. He puts the code into the building security pad and they start to go up the stairs, Jaemin behind Jeno. “Asked her if she even remembered that I was bisexual since she only set me up with girls. She said that the next one would be a boy and that she has definitely not forgotten. Sometimes I wonder what they all did in their youth to get kids like us. We haven’t been easy. I give my mom so many headaches…and then, I-” Jaemin breathed. He had to tell him, they were his best friends for fuck's sake. “Then I told her that I was already in love” Jeno stopped at the words as they reached the apartment door. Jeno’s keys dropped dramatically, and Jaemin stared at them on the floor like they were the most interesting thing in the world.

“You’re in love with him?” Jeno asked, voice small. A feeling of relief washed over him when he heard those words since he wouldn't have to say it aloud, but the look on Jeno’s face when he looked up made the dread come back. There was betrayal and tears, too many tears too fast. Jeno’s lips trembled as he began to speak. “This has been eating me alive, I have to say it. I have never stopped being in love with you, Na Jaemin. Never. Not when I told you I didn’t so you would leave and explore other things. Not even right now when you are breaking my heart so bad” Jeno breathed, picking his keys up from the floor. “You’re breaking my heart because I love him too… but I love both of you. You and Renjun. Not one or the other, but both” Jeno sighed, unlocked the apartment door and stumbled inside. He locked it, leaving Jaemin on the hallway stunned, without time to react. He tried so hard but he felt like couldn’t breathe. He slid down the door and tried to stabilize his inhales and exhales but his sobs kept interrupting, making it sound like an ugly mess. Jaemin loved Renjun, only Renjun. Not both of them like he did. Just when he began thinking that he was not insane, that he could love two people at once and not be some lunatic this happens. 

“Jeno, please open the door” Jaemin begged, banging softly on the door. “I need to talk to you”

Even if Jeno was having a breakdown, he couldn’t lock his best friend out in the hall. He stood up to open the door, turning fast on his heels when Jaemin stopped him. Jeno was pulled in close by his waist, Jaemin’s hand burning hot through his clothes and into his skin. 

“I told my mom that I was already in love… with two people. Two boys to be exact. One of them is a smartass and the other one is a dumbass” Jaemin smiled, rubbing his nose against Jeno’s cheek lovingly before finishing “Definitely a dumbass” and with this, Jaemin made their lips meet. To say Jeno saw stars was an understatement. He remembers his kisses were good, but nothing compared to feeling _this _again. Jaemin was more dominant now, his tongue demanding as he prodded into Jeno’s warm mouth. He pulled him to the dining table, where he lifted Jeno to sit while he stood in between his legs, keeping his skillful tongue moving against Jeno’s. There was a time where Jeno would do this to him, but now Jaemin was stronger and much more confident. He was overwhelmed, all his inhibitions gone as he mewled into Jaemin’s mouth, hands shaky but determined to undress the younger. 

“I can’t believe I ever let you go when you kiss like that” Jeno admitted in between kisses, his chest heaving up and down as he spoke.

“You’re needier now,” Jaemin noticed, pressing a kiss to his neck softly. 

“Well, haven’t done anything for a while” Jeno admits. Jaemin chuckles, the quaint sound pressing into his skin and he shivers at the vibrations. Jeno hugs his body close, flush against each other's chests and Jaemin begins to kiss him again, rougher this time and he feels himself be pushed to lay back on the table. His button-up is popped open by Jaemin’s nimble fingers, and they instantly go to rub Jeno’s nipples. The boy whimpers as Jaemin palms him through the fabric of his pants and his own hand flies to his mouth. And then Jaemin stops. _Renjun,_ Jeno’s mind supplied. He should be here. They would talk to him tonight. Now. 

“Jeno, _fuck,_ Jeno… we have to talk to Renjun when he wakes up” Jaemin concluded, and Jeno quickly agreed. The first time should be all 3 of them. It would be worth the wait. 

“We can still make out though, just no further. I missed your kisses” Jeno adds, dragging Jaemin to his room. Jaemin smiles, beginning to latch his lips to Jeno’s again when they almost fell over due to Renjun’s shoes in the hall. They heard the shower running and looked at each other before opening the door. It creaked and Renjun spoke up.

“I’m just grabbing a quick shower before bed, can I borrow a t-shirt?” Renjun spoke, a slight giggle to his voice that made both boys smile. When both started to strip, Jeno took in how much Jaemin had changed. He was still skinny and lanky, but his limbs were fit and precise where they once had been all over the place; Growth spurts had turned them into a nuisance to the younger boy. He felt like a baby deer walking through the halls his first year of high-school. Now that doe was a sight to behold. Jaemin grabbed Jeno by the neck and gave him a warm kiss, and Renjun peeked out the curtain in time to see it happen. 

“Oh my fucking god” He gasped once he realized both boys were naked. Jaemin opened the curtain, got in and pulled Jeno inside, making Renjun back up against the cold tiles. He felt the goosebumps cover his skin as he tilted Renjun’s head up carefully. He tightened his hold on his jaw slightly and heard a soft gasp in return. Jaemin looked down to see the small boy with his mouth already parted and pliant, ready for a kiss. Renjun’s eyes were shut, and when Jaemin didn’t oblige to a kiss he opened them with rosy cheeks. Jaemin wanted the older to make the decision first so he waited. Jaemin was pleasantly surprised when Renjun grabbed Jeno’s hand that was near his on the shower wall and softly leaned into his mouth. 

•••

Renjun didn't know how he found himself in this position. He was pressed up against Jeno’s chest by Jaemin that stood behind him. Warm water ran over them as he felt both boys kiss their way through his neck. Their mouths met each other on Renjun’s shoulder and he swore he felt like he could combust as he watched them. When they pulled away Jaemin gave him a small but obscene smile before he leaned in and softly opened Renjun’s mouth with his fingers and stuck his tongue in afterward. Renjun’s breath stutters with a choked moan, clearly surprised at his actions. While his mouth was used by Jaemin, Jeno kept panting and kissing his neck. 

“Nana” Jeno pleaded and Jaemin pulled away. Jeno’s lips were on Renjun’s as soon as Jaemins left. He closed his eyes and could feel both of them on his face kissing his lips, eyes, nose, and cheeks. At one point he was sure they were all kissing. Renjun gripped Jeno's shoulder tightly, fearing that he would drift away from them in the steamy haze. Jaemin squeezed his hips from behind and rutted into him, nipping the back of his neck. It made him completely weak as Jeno moaned softly into his mouth. Jaemin kept his merciless pace with his teeth and Jeno attached himself to one of Renjun's nipples making him gasp. He flicked his tongue over it teasingly before he reached down to his length. Renjun was melting like candle wax between the heat of their bodies; Jeno was quickly on his knees, working his mouth on him while Jaemin grinded against him and Renjun had to contain his loudness. Jaemin and Jeno worked together to tease him, their mouths sabotaging him. Jaemin’s fingers flicked his nipples and he whispered _tell me all the ways to love you. _Jeno heard and moaned around him, the vibrations of his voice going straight to Renjun’s cockhead. He began to breathe harshly and covered his mouth to prevent any noises from leaving the small bathroom. He felt Jaemin chuckle and press a kiss to his cheek before speaking

“The waters running a little cold, would you mind turning it to the hot side?” Renjun felt so aroused when Jaemin spoke so unaffectedly like he wasn't rutting against him, cock almost between his thighs. Renjun did as he was told, making the room foggier than it was and it made Jeno look like an angel with his mouth stuffed full. It was hypnotizing, the way he swirled around his tongue and kissed him. Renjun was sure he was having the best wet dream of his life. A loud whine left his lips when he felt Jaemin thrust in between his legs as Jeno kissed up his length. 

“He must be good at that, is he? I have noticed he has a bit of an oral fixation” Jaemin said, loud enough for both of them to hear. Jeno nodded against Renjun’s cock, making the head pop out and rub against his plump bottom lip. Renjun caressed his face and Jeno leaned into the touch, sucking on his thumb. “How long have you wanted him in your mouth?” Jeamin asked Jeno, who shyly closed his eyes and bobbed his head slowly, relishing in the calming feeling of having his mouth put to good use. Renjun caressed the boy's black hair, encouraging an answer

“Since when?” he asked, voice ragged and needy at once. 

“Since I saw you walk in that night,” He said when he breathlessly pulled away, mouth parted invitingly. Jeno was shameless in his moans as Renjun just thrust inside again, grabbing his dark hair as leverage and seeked release inside his warm mouth. Jeno moaned loudly around him and Renjun short-circuited when he looked down to see Jaemin sliding in and out of his legs and Jeno, mouth full with his hand fisting himself between his legs. Jeno’s free hand was gripping Jaemin’s leg tightly as if pulling them all together. Jeno took him deeper and Renjun felt his warm drool around him.

Jaemin found Renjun’s mouth, giving him a small peck and pulling away playfully. Renjun pouted and searched for his mouth with parted lips and eyes closed. He took his tongue inside and they began to kiss like before. Jaemin was restless as he came and flicked his tongue simultaneous with his thrusts and Renjun felt he would pass out from the pleasure. Still, he squeezed his legs together to hear Jaemin’s soft overstimulated moans. They harmonized with Jeno’s desperate ones as he reached his high, mouth all fucked out and shiny as he let his head be led by Jaemin to take Renjun in and out of his mouth. Soon, Renjun felt himself begin to come onto Jeno’s face and mouth so he quickly tried to pull out. Jeno nodded his head no and kept sucking him off until he came, splattering in his mouth and chin. Jeno looked up expectantly at Jaemin while he came and pressed a kiss to Jaemins tip in between Renjun’s legs, causing more cum droplets to cling obscenely to his pretty lips. He pressed some final kisses to Renjun’s legs before sitting down and bringing his knees up to his chest. Renjun did the same and all of them ended up sitting on the shower floor. 

Jeno washed Renjuns hair with distant eyes, fingers rubbing against his scalp absentmindedly sending jolts of electricity to his skin. Renjun broke the silence after about five minutes. 

“What the fuck did we just do?”

“Can we talk about it, we need to” Jeno pleaded, slouching against the slippery tile wall. Renjun resisted the urge to blow a raspberry on his small tummy as he slid under the water to rinse his hair. Jaemin quickly applied conditioner and gave him another scalp massage. 

“Yes,” Jaemin said, hands stopping on Renjun’s hair. “It all happened so fast. Jeno and I were talking about my mom and her stupid dates. He asked me _how come you haven’t gone on another one since that night we cuddled with Renjun _? and I said that I had spoken to my mom about it and told her what I wanted…” he talked, imitating Jeno and earning a small shove from him. 

“And I thought about it and obviously jumped to incorrect conclusions. I thought he was in love with you which is good because I am too, but I thought that he meant only you, and that made me sad. I don't want it to be Renjun and Jaemin… or Jeno and Renjun… or Jaemin and Jeno, I want Jeno and Jaemin and Renjun. I want both of you. I was so gone for Jaemin and you came into our lives and made everything better. I fell hard for the second time for you two. How you two act with each other and towards me makes me go crazy. I want both of you because nothing makes sense if it's not us. I don’t want to choose. It’s the three of us or nothing for me”

“And he told me all of that, which was beautiful by the way, yelling and crying in the stairs. He ran away into the apartment and locked the door. I gave you my keys when we dropped you off so I knocked once, twice he never answered. When I knocked again he answered and I told him I was in love with two boys. A smartass and a dumbass. Then I kissed him. He kissed back and when we were probably gonna fuck on the dining table, we both needed you. We decided to wait and talk to you before going all the way. While making our way inside to his room, a bit busy kissing, we tripped over your shoes in the hallway. We wanted you to be a part of the first time, the opportunity presented itself, we took it. Carpe Diem. Seize the moment ” Jaemin explained, a bit nervous. 

“Yeah, that seems like a logical explanation to get into the shower with me and, do all that you just did. Perfectly logical” Renjun rambles. 

“Well, you and your little friend didn't seem to mind ten minutes ago” Jeno answered in a hushed tone, making Jaemin stifle his laugh. 

  
“So now it’s little? It sure wasn't when you were gagging on it'' Renjun said in dismissal while poking at Jeno's neck. "And what was I supposed to do? Say no? With you two looking like that. I’m gay as fuck” Renjun finished in dismissal 

“Hey Tom and Jerry, it doesn’t matter, what’s done is done” Jaemin sighed with a defeated smile on his face. "Renjun…we want you. We’ll give you time to think about it, even though we don’t want to be apart from you; We understand it’s a lot to process. I thought I was insane when I first realized. My mom was surely left stunned”

“Oh my god, You told her!” Renjun squeaked when he remembered.

“Well, I told her I was in love with two people and that I wanted to date both of them. And that I didn’t know what to do…she figured out it was you two, it doesn't take a genius” there was a huge silence after that. The only sound was water jets hitting the tiles. 

“I think I need to go home for a while,” Renjun said, sad that he had led them on by letting them touch him. It had just been so long and Jaemin and Jeno were ridiculously perfect. He felt pathetic. “I’m sorry I let that happen,” he said and in the span of 1 minute Renjun had his clothes on, albeit if a little tousled and damp. He was hesitantly gathering his things when Jeno spoke up.

“Can you at least let us walk you home? It's late” Jeno questioned, left a little stunned. 

“No, I've been outside alone later than this” Renjun answered quickly. While Jeno’s eyes threatened to spill tears, Jaemin stared at him with empty ones. Not for the first time in his life Renjun wanted to run away. He wanted to get in his car and leave. 

He was out the door fast, skipping down the stairs with his bag pounding against him. He sprung the building door open and his legs were automatically taking him home. He ran fast and restless against the wet concrete of the vibrant street. It was a Friday night so people were out drinking and having fun even when it drizzled. He ran and didn't care; He was already soaked in tears. As his world was falling down around him, half the people he could see kept laughing, talking and texting in the bars. The other half walked home and carried their umbrellas like his world wasn't ending. He finally found friends, real ones and then stupid feelings had to bloom. Maybe this rude awakening would be good to them all. Renjun was not essential to their little trio or their friend group. They could do just fine without him. They didn't know him well enough to be in love with him. 

•••

The thing is, Renjun had changed. He didn’t notice just how much until he looked back on their attention on him. Jeno and Jaemin were anything but subtle in their courting but Renjun was so caught up in his own mind that he had missed it. Thoughts of his ex were still flooding his mind. He had tried to date around recently but he was too paranoid to let himself trust completely again. He felt that he was damaged goods. He had so much baggage after what had happened, he doubted anyone would put up with him because he didn’t even want to deal with himself. 

He never wanted that to happen to him again and he did what he had to do to protect himself. Donghyuck had told him that he was going to hurt himself in the long run, but he didn’t listen. He didn’t fully understand what was happening so he put up his walls. They were high, so tall that at first, he couldn't see Jeno holding up Jaemin in his shoulders so that they could climb and get to Renjun. When they managed to sit on the tall wall and look at Renjun’s hiding spot, it was already too late for him. The boys slid down and started planning on how to tear them down for good. The plan was mostly using Jeno's eye smile against Renjun and Jaemin’s flirting skills. That was their wrecking ball. Renjun couldn't believe that it had actually worked but these two sweet boys had done it. They broke his walls down and he was left defenseless. Renjun stood no chance against them. 

•••

“Are you awake?” Jeno whispered into the darkness of the room after feeling Jaemin move around. 

“Can’t sleep” Jaemin answered, tiredly running a hand over his face. “Fuck, I don't want to scare him away. I don’t think he is ready” _ that’s not for you to decide _his brain helpfully quipped. “I’m so goddamn anxious”

“Come here then,” Jeno said groggily. He reaches for Jaemin and tugged him close, nosing into his face softly before feeling the wetness cling to his nose.“You’ve been crying”

“I can’t seem to stop” Jaemin admitted. “I want you so bad Jen. Every time I sleep I see you two, either in nightmares or wet dreams, and we don't end up together. I wake up so disturbed because both are a reality. We fucked, but that might not mean anything, he might not want us back and that hurts. It hurts like hell Jen”

•••

3 weeks had passed after they confessed. Renjun had submerged himself in dance practice, tripling his usual two hours. His body ached but at least he was distracted from the thoughts of a brown-haired boy and a peach-haired one that kept pestering him. The walls of his apartment were decorated with pictures of them since Jaemin had insisted the place needed a more welcoming aura. The picture of Jeno and Jaemin by a baby blue treehouse was the sole focus of all of it in Renjun’s mind. He thought back to their shower and wondered if when they kissed perched on his shoulder was the first time in years their lips had touched again. He clicked his tongue rapidly to scare the thought away. They were each other’s firsts, and he couldn’t even begin to comprehend why they would want him, he just didn’t belong. 

Hyuck, Mark, Jisung and Chenle kept inviting him places but he kept making up excuses, saying he needed to practice or that he was tired. Truth is if he were to see Jaemin and Jeno he would break. All he could think of was how good they had been to him. He thought about them as soon as he opened his eyes and the bleariness was gone. When he turned off his lights and went to bed, he thought about them. He remembers the sound of their laughs melting together, their playful bickering over nonsense. The way they smelt. It was safe and warm and _ home. _They always found ways to hold Renjun until they fell asleep, a mess of tangled limbs and mostly drool. He missed them so much he ached. He wanted to go to the park but didn’t, fearing that he would see them. He had begun to ignore his phone, mostly leaving it behind on his bedside drawer and wearing his watch to tell the time instead. It was easier to distance himself when he didn’t have any sort of way to reach them. He had to stay away. Renjun kept on living as if they had never met, trying to fool himself into thinking that his heart didn’t skip several beats when he saw brown or peach hair in crowds. He convinced himself he wasn’t needed and that they could date each other just fine without him. 

He kept dancing until his feet bled and his muscles throbbed painfully. The addition of this to restless nights spent tossing and turning and reading in bed made for a bad combination. He was so anxious that whenever he ate the food didn’t stay down, and he just pushed his body even further just to forget everything with the discomfort it brought. 

One day, he was dancing in the studio, practicing his pirouettes and he twisted his ankle. It had been harmless but he decided to sit for a bit and let himself rest. To his surprise, the door to the ballet studio rental room opened. Jisung stood there, legs crossed and a small smile on his lips.

“Hi Hyung,” he said, softly.

“How did you know I was here? Do-” Renjun spoke too quickly and was cut off. 

“I just figured it out, there’s only so many ballet studios around here. And no, they don’t know, so you can calm down” Jisung says quietly and Renjun wants to punch himself.

“I’m sorry Jisung” Renjun admitted, giving him a hug.

“No one wants to tell me and Chenle what happened and he is worried sick. Look, I don’t know what went down, but what is distancing yourself gonna fix?” Renjun ends their hug to grab his water bottle.

“You don't understand, it’s really not that simple” Renjun sighs.

“ Yet I’m sure it's not as hard as you’re making it. We miss you. _ They _ miss you, so much” Jisung says. Renjun hoped that his tears didn’t fall.

“It’s better this way” Renjun concludes, moving on to practice arabesque.

“Says who? All you guys look like shit” Jisung states.

“That’s harsh”

“The truth hurts hyung”

•••

  
  


It all lasted until Donghyuck had enough. Renjun was in his apartment, taking an impromptu nap on his couch when he heard his doorbell ring. He answered it sleepily to see a slightly pissed off Haechan. 

“You are such a bitch, we haven’t seen you in like a month” he complained, plopping down on his couch. 

“I’m sorry. I have just been doing ballet and-”

“Cut the bull. I know about Jeno and Jaemin. How are you feeling?” Renjun sighed, bringing his hand to his face. He tried not to cry because he had managed not to for 3 weeks, but when Donghuyck asked him it all became too much. 

“Renjun,” he said, getting up to hold him. Renjun sobbed in his arms.

“Babe, you have to tell me what it is that you’re thinking about that is making you like this”

“I can’t be with them” Renjun rasped. “They should be together. I should deal with myself, they don’t see that I can’t be like them after what he did. I picture us three together and it is good. _ Too good _. I start to think of when they start to go on dates alone when I get my depressive episodes, or when they loved each other when I wasn’t in their lives yet. I think of when they eventually get bored and go off without me”

“They aren’t like him. I wish you could see that. When you picked up ballet again, Jeno practiced helping you do your turns with Jaemin for like an hour, twice a week. They watched ancient aliens with you and Jisung, all 13 seasons when they don’t give a single fuck about aliens. They talk about you like you hung the sun, the moon and the aliens in the sky. Jaemin punched our ex. Twice, when he went running with Jeno and when we bumped into him on the grocery store, which I now realize you weren't supposed to know about. He cried afterward because his hand hurt but he said nobody could hurt us and get away with it scotch free. They miss you so much, all they do is fucking sleep all day. It's disgusting in Jaemin’s room. We went in there all day yesterday to coax them out but they don’t talk, not even to each other. They just stare at the walls and sleep. I have to bully them into eating. Mark is about to go insane. He looks ridiculously attractive when he's mad but that's not the point. What I wanna say is: Come back, come home to them Renjun, to all of us. We don’t know how we never realized we were incomplete.

“You don’t mean that,” Renjun said in disbelief. He wasn’t essential.

“Oh but I do. You brought Jeno and Jaemin together once again, something all of us attempted but couldn’t manage to do. You and me, we are a dynamic duo; We can be so hyper and annoying together, but you keep me grounded. If you weren't _you_, it would be so chaotic. You are the feisty mom role to Mark’s asshole dad, he needed support in keeping all of us in check. His right eye was starting to twitch before you came along, _that _wasn’t pretty. Chenle adores you. Nobody could relate when he said he missed China, the street food and the views, but you can. Even his parents know how much he cares for you; He sees you as his big brother, they are asking us about you and why you’ve been gone… and then there’s Jisung. You are the weird-ass friend Jisung needed. He can ramble with you about anything his strange little heart desires and you won’t judge him, you always find ways to elevate his conspiracy theories and he loves you and respects you so much as a Hyung…” Hyuck says, looking away. “I don’t know how to make you understand that you belong with us. We were missing a part of what makes us whole. _ You were missing from us. _ We finally found you and now that you’re gone again nothing makes sense” As Haechan engulfed him in a loving hug Renjun thought of what Jeno had said. That nothing made sense if it wasn't them together. 

“Jeno said something similar” he admits, his best friend's warmth being the best comfort there was. 

“See! If moronic Jeno knows it how can you not realize?” Hyuck bursts and Renjun gave him a stern look for calling Jeno dumb. He was smart, so smart in his own way. 

“Sorry. I told you; You keep me on my toes” Donghyuck smiles. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow so let me know what you think, and thank you for reading! 
> 
> Also all of them are adults don't @ me


	5. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter guys hope this is good ; )
> 
> Also, how would you feel if I made a markhyuck fic based on their story here? Let me know<3  
I take requests on my twitter @staccato_renjun, dm me!

The feeling of being crushed between their bodies was slow and heady. The trio fought a war of attrition, small noises blowing their languid façade and causing previous determination to melt into desperation. Jaemin and Jeno were crowding him, their weight completely on top of him and Renjun couldn’t understand how he wanted more; More of that calming pressure on his chest. He did all he could to bring them closer than they already were: tracing the pads of his fingers over bare flesh, wrapping his legs around them tightly and kissing any part of them he could reach. Yet it wasn't enough; At this point he was careless, any finesse he may have had thrown out the window as he opened his mouth to welcome a tongue inside. As he emitted muffled moans, he thinks about how he must look, filthily rutting back and forth like he was in heat. He got even wetter at the thought. He whined desperately as he felt his mouth be filled to the brim. Renjun’s belly was on fire as his fingers dug roughly into the skin on Jaemin’s stomach.

“If you didn’t look this hot that might hurt. You’re so whiny baby boy, you like how I fill your mou-” Renjun startled awake, roughly grabbing the covers and pulling them to hide under them. He quickly checked himself and cursed loudly. His thighs were sticky and white stained. He sighed as he plopped back down to bed. Fuck this. This didn’t even happen to him during puberty.

•••

“Hello?” Renjun asks into his phone. He dialed a conference call, the contact names almost foreign on his screen because he hasn't called or texted them in weeks. 

“Jeno, he called! Get up, get up!” Jaemin said, his voice as endearing as ever in his _ I just woke up _ bliss. Renjun’s heart did a flip when he heard him so excited and he could hear the rustling of sheets on Jeno’s end of the line. Jeno had probably picked up and fallen back asleep with the phone in his hand. He could hear Jeno’s sleepy _ huh. _

“Renjun?” Jeno asked, voice raspy but full of emotion. 

“Hi,” Renjun said almost shyly into the phone. The boys greet him back. “I’ve missed you” Renjun confessed. 

“_ Fuck _, is he trying to kill me?” Jeno whispers and Jaemin’s groans fill up his ears. 

“Can we meet?” Renjun asked and to his surprise, Jeno and Jaemin agree on the spot. He tought they would be angry, or yell at him. “Can you two come over or should I?” 

“We can go, we need the fresh air” Jaemin concludes. 

“See you in a bit” Renjun hangs up and squeals loudly into his couch cushions. He felt like an eleven-year-old with a crush but at this point, he didn’t care. He decides to make some tea while waiting. He zones off, thinking of his boys._ Jeno and Jaemin. Jaemin and Jeno._ Now it was Renjun Jaemin and Jeno... He could kiss them, hug them, cuddle, meet their families as someone other than their friend. He wanted all those things he had never thought about before the realization. When he realized he had zoned off, the door was buzzing. He let them up and waited, waited for his doorbell to ring. It didn’t. One of them knocked and Renjun walked over and opened his door to two very tired looking boys. Jeno wore grey sweats and a hoodie while Jaemin had on a literal flannel pajama shirt on with joggers. Jaemin had massive under-eye circles and Jenos eyes were as puffy as he had ever seen. It made him uneasy to think this was his fault. They walked in, giving him a small smile and sat on the couch. Renjun followed, words threatening to leave his mouth like vomit. 

“So?” Jaemin asked, voice a bit detached. He could tell he was a little hurt as he and Jeno looked at him expectantly and he held back his tears. 

“I'm sorry. I am so sorry that I couldn’t see it. You were each other’s first and I thought I couldn’t come between that or measure up. I’m sorry that I made you wait so long. Its been weeks and you guys have been through so much and it's my stupid anxiety's fault. I just thought you deserved each other without me to bring you down. I thought you could find somebody else...” Jeno shook his head no at this. 

“Renjun, we don’t want anyone else that isn’t you,” Jeno said sternly, holding back a yell. Jeno always hated how Renjun put himself down. Renjun loved him for it, and so did Jaemin. 

“We may have been each other’s first but you're our last, don't you get that?” Jaemin said quietly. Renjun’s skin prickled at his words. He hadn’t thought about it like that. “We tried to do it just the two of us years ago, and it didn’t work. It wasn’t because of lack of love, I fucking loved him so much… but the timing wasn’t right until you came along. I remember the first weeks after we met you, I could tell Jeno was attracted to you. I saw the way he stared and looked away but I didn’t feel jealous. I felt the same, strangely drawn to you and I couldn’t stay away from either of you at that point”

“These weeks I understood. Why I was so curious about your past. Why I felt so warm around you. Why I couldn’t just ignore it” Renjun admits. “It was scary to realize. I am not an easy person. I am anxious and sad, I obsess over school. I can’t cook that well. I always burn the pancakes in the mornings... And you two scare me. You two scare the ever-loving fuck out of me because I know it's not just dating. Its love and love has hurt me. But I am not gonna let fear make choices for me. I want to be happy with you. I don’t know if I deserve it but I don’t care. I want to wake up with you guys and go to bed together. I want to kiss your stinky morning breath mouths and make you my shitty ramen that you like. I want us to stay up and study, eat and shower together for as long as we can. I was so scared of falling I didn’t realize you guys had caught me before I hit the ground” Renjun finished and took a deep breath, realizing he had talked for a while. 

“If this is gonna work, we need to talk a lot. If problems ever come up you cant ghost us for a month. It will break us. We have to talk to each other. And I don’t mean to talk about unimportant things, but about our feelings. I know for a fact that it may not be easy but I want this to work so bad” Jaemin stated softly, grabbing both of their hands. He gave a kiss to Renjuns hand and then to Jeno’s. He had a big smile on his face that Renjun wanted to kiss already. 

“I’m in” Jeno spoke, softly squeezing their hands. 

“I am too” Renjun spoke, giddy like a kid on Christmas. They looked towards Jaemin expectantly and he rolled his eyes

“I’ve always been in,” Jaemin says surely, so certain that it didn’t leave room for any doubt the boy's minds.

The three boys looked at each other and nodded before Jeno and Jaemin tackled Renjun to the side of the couch and began to press kisses on his face at the same time. Their laughter began to fill up the living room and Renjun thought that this was the happiest he has ever felt in this apartment. He grabbed both boys' faces and began to pepper them with futile kisses and _I love you’s._ Sharp dangerous smiles decorated his boys' lips and it made Renjun go weak in the knees. Jeno gave Jaemin a long kiss and then punctuated it with a small peck. Jaemin began to slide his hand between his legs and Jeno shut his eyes before hissing. 

“_I’m fucking sick of your teasing_” he growled, crashing into Jaemin and kissing him senseless. Jaemin let out a long moan and Renjun swore he was about to come all over his pants, again. While Jaemin was pinned down to the floor by Jeno, the brown-haired boy tugged Renjun to them, to grinding on Jaemins' lap while he devoured Renjun’s mouth. He could feel Jaemin’s hand on his crotch and sighed into the kiss. 

“This was worth it the wait,_ so worth it _” Jaemin hisses, “My boys look so good like this” Jaemin finished. Jeno moaned at this, melting into Renjun and writhing against him even faster. “I want to taste you” he admitted recklessly and both boys scrambled over to Nana’s face. Renjun kissed him softly while Jeno rubbed Jaemin through his pants. Renjun felt Jaemin reach inside his pants to tug out his cock. He led him and Jeno to kneel at either side of him while he lay on the floor, wet mouth open invitingly for them to use. 

“Fucking christ” Jeno cursed. Jaemin’s tongue licked a strike up and he breathed heavily. 

“Can you be good for me and kiss? I want to watch” Jaemin slurred. Renjun hastily pulled Jeno closer and kissed him delicately because feeling the incessant sucking and kissing Jaemin was up to, he knew neither would last very long. He began to rub Jaemin between his legs, loving the way he felt a wet spot already. “Baby boy you're gonna make me ruin my pants, but I think that's what you want... ” Jaemin concludes and Renjun nodded needily into Jeno’s mouth, wrapping his fingers around Jaemin’s girth. Jeno was too quiet, and when Renjun opened his half-lidded eyes to see him he was in awe. Jeno looked like he was almost crying at the sensation of Renjun sliding with him into Jaemin’s warm mouth. Renjun hushed him lovingly while placing kisses on his face and cheeks.

“Is this your first time getting sucked off?” Renjun asked.

_ "Ah _, no but it’s been years. I- So sensitive” He wailed, his hips stuttering. “He still looks so pretty” Jeno admitted, and he indeed did. Nana had his mouth open wide, his tongue lapping over their cockheads feverishly. He did his best to please them both at the same time and succeeded when Jeno made a mess on his face and cheeks. Jaemin experimentally got some of it on his thumb and brought it to his mouth, lapping it up with his tongue. He looked criminal when he began to suck off Renjun like he was begging for his come. Jeno laid back and watched, trying to come down from his high. Renjun kept pumping Jaemins cock through the fabric of his pants and Jeno took the initiative to lift up his shirt and pay some attention to the boy's chest. He leaned over and tortured his nipples, leaving soft bite marks and hickeys that almost made Jaemin feral. Renjun came soon into the corner of Jaemins' mouth and was a panting mess when he felt his hand be covered in slick cum that had leaked out of his boys' pants. 

“I’m never gonna get tired of that” Jeno said quietly. Jaemin and Renjun laughed in their post-orgasmic bliss. 

•••

They all got ready in between kisses and headed over to Chenle’s house. Mark had demanded that they talk to him because their true maknae was furious with the other Chinese boy. He hadn’t seen him in the same amount of time he hadn’t seen Jeno and Jaemin. Renjun knew he could lie to himself all he wanted, but he couldn't lie to Chenle. Just like he had broken down with Hyuck he knew he would in front of Chenle and he didn’t want his dongsaeng to witness that. Now he stood there, in front of his door while Jeno rang the doorbell. Jaemin noticed how anxious he was so he began to kiss his reassurances onto his ear and neck. In perfect timing, Chenle and Jisung open the door. Renjun can see Mark and Hyuck behind them leaning against the wall. Once he saw Renjun, his anger melted away. Chenle bolted towards him, giving him the longest hug they had shared yet. They loved each other, all of them did. 

“Asshole, never do that again” Chenle murmured, resting his head on Renjun’s shoulder. “I missed you”

“I won’t. Next time I’ll go into hiding with you. I missed you so so so much” Chenle giggled and lifted Renjun, holding him by the legs and hooking an arm under his. Jaemin and Jeno stood at the side and he heard the sound of a picture being taken. Mark stood in the doorway with his phone and smiled, draping his arm on Hyucks' shoulder. Jaemin took his own picture of them with Jisung sitting in the stairs by the door. 

“Chenle you owe me 40$,” Jisung said in a singsong voice 

“What, no!” he older pouted. 

“We bet 20 on each couple, you bet on after Halloween and I said they’d happen before the end of summer. Both of them happened before the end of summer, so I win”

“Fucking fine” Chenle grumbled.

"Oi, Chenle, watch your fucking mouth" Mark warned. 

•••

Jeno looked sinful. Sinful while he ground down on Renjun’s cock, sinful when he slurred their names in overstimulation. Sinful when his thighs shook with sensitivity and he collapsed on top of Renjun. His chest was heaving so harshly that Renjun hugged him, caressing his hair so that he would calm down. But the sight made Jaemin pound into Renjun rapidly. Renjun moved his hips down to take more of Jaemin’s cock and accidentally hit Jeno’s sweet spot. 

“Please kiss me” Jeno pleaded and whined, squirming more as he felt Jaemins hand reach over to his clothed crotch. 

“Nana, Nana I’ll come don’t do that” he whined. Renjun’s hand joined Jaemin as he stroked Jeno and kissed him. 

“You can come if you want baby, but you’re gonna keep coming until I’m done with Renjun” this caused both boys to cry out, and desperately lick into each other's mouths. 

“Harder” Renjun begged, and Jaemin did as he was told. He felt every inch if Jaemins cock rub against his walls, dragging along and sweetly filling him to the brim. He swore he had never felt this love. The other times he bottomed, he felt obligated. To just lay down and take it. Now, he was begging for Jaemin to fuck him, to touch him and break him apart and put him back together. Renjun was as overwhelmed as Jeno or more, being filled by Jaemins' cock and Jeno was squirming on his own, he felt every single movement of his boys hips deep in his belly. He held on so tightly to Jeno's hips that the marks were gonna be on his skin for days on end. Renjun was in awe. He could see Jaemin reach out to kiss Jeno, eyebrows furrowed as he tried to concentrate on his thrusting. Renjuns' eyes rolled back and he whined. When he was a bit more aware he saw Jeno. The boy looked like a smart and preppy boy but behind closed doors he was desperate, running his hands across Renjuns' chest as he rutted on his cock. He let Jaemin and Renjun do what they wanted with him, which is how he ended up wearing baby blue panties. First, they were pushed to the side as Renjun fucked his wet hole and Jaemin fucked his mouth. Now, well now Jaemin was deep inside Renjun and Jeno was as loud as they could get. The boy waited firstly for Jaemin for years and now Renjun for a year more so he hadn't really had sex in a while; He was always horny. He was needy and impatient and was cumming again, all over his pretty underwear. His tighs were shaking slightly and his mouth was half-open. When his mouth wasnt stuffed with either a tongue or a cock he was loud, so loud his boyfriends worried about the neighbors. 

"Baby, need something in your mouth?" Jaemin asked. Jeno nodded rapidly and opened his mouth as if saying _ah. _Renjun stuck two fingers inside his mouth for him to suck on, and Jeno looked down at him with full glassy eyes.

"I love you," he said aloud, and Jeno nibbled at his fingers to say it back. Jaemin said _I love you too_, and decided to grab onto his leg to reach deeper. The view Jaemin had of Jeno's ass was downright pornographic, the pale skin of his ass went perfectly with the soft blue of the panties and the crotch part roughly tucked aside. He could see Renjun going in and out as he pushed into the latter and he came all over Renjuns' tight heat while pressing kisses to Jeno’s back. He pulled out and laid beside the two, watching as they come undone. Jeno was needy but overstimulated and he knew he had to help make Jeno come for the third time. Renjun kept thrusting inside their baby but he moaned so loud and didn't come. Tears were threatening to come out of his big brown eyes when Jaemin spoke, softly caressing his thigh and crotch. 

"Renjun, don't you think you should fuck him harder?" Jaemin spoke, and Jeno nodded frantically. 

"_Hng, can you lay me down? my thighs hurt" _Jeno admitted softly. 

"Why didn't you tell us before?" Renjun frowned, laying him down and pounding into him so hard that Jeno was caught off guard. 

"Good boy" Jaemin cooed at Renjun, making him blush. "You fuck him so good and take my cock so well, you're perfect. Doesn't Jeno look so pretty, isn't he so tight around you? Look at him in those lace panties, you like how his cock looks? So pretty, touch him with me, like this" he instructed while groping Jeno through the damp fabric. Jeno whined in overstimulation and Renjun came so much inside of Jeno that it leaked out around the crotch of his pretty panties. The feeling of being full of Renjun and the pressure on his prostate made him come clear water-like fluid through the blue lace and Jeno moaned roughly. He was spent as Renjun pulled out and he curled up and closed his eyes, probably planning on falling asleep like that.

"Baby don't fall asleep, we have to clean you up"

"Don't wanna move" Jeno groaned. Renjun went to grab a wet towel and a dry one to clean up and they both cleaned up Jeno since he had fallen half asleep rapidly. "I love you guys too, by the way" he mumbled in his sleepy haze. Renjun and Jaemin looked at each other and laughed, leaning in for a languid kiss. Jaemin cleaned up Renjun and they both cuddled up to Jeno under the warm blankets, safe and happy at last.

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me if I made a mistake, if a part is hard to read or just doesn't flow. I want to become a better writer :) I hope you enjoyed this!
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/staccato_renjun)


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